It’s always funny to me how a commercial can take a pretty obvious problem like BO or dirty toilets and make it seem like the end of the world if you have it AND an insurmountable problem without their product. Oh my GOODNESS your armpits stink! How did they ever get THAT way? You’re going to lose friends and your family will disown you if you don’t buy our clinical strength antiperspirant and deodorant. Sanchez Labs has taken that idea to its logical conclusion. I also think it’s interesting that there are certain scents that are acceptable for use on the human body. Maybe I don’t want my crotch to smell like honeysuckle and lilac…maybe I want it to smell like peanut butter or citrus burst.
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I’ll admit. I’ve got a soft spot for dogs. That’s why when I’m at work I don’t take any chances with my dog walking service. I only hire the BEST in the field. Buying the Bone dog walking service has over 7 dog years of combined walking experience. You can basically trust them to take care of your precious puppy.
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Let’s face it. Skanks are simply FUN to have sex with. There’s nothing better than going out with your buddies to some filthy bar, drinking a few beers, and then finding some woman who is desperately trying to regain her self respect by having sexual relations with any guy who reminds her of her stepfather. But there is a drawback to the aforementioned slag nabbing. It’s the crabs. Don’t worry though, the guys over at Sanches Labs have us all fixed up. I picked up a tube of their Crotch Cream(TM) and I’ve never been happier. It really DOES what it says it will!
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That’s right, two, count ‘em, two new T-shirts are now available! They cater to the two halves of the male population. The ones who are pussy whipped, and those who aren’t. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do right? So choose your poison. Pussy whipped, or Not pussy whipped.
Everyone knows that if you don’t feed your dog the most expensive kind of dogfood your best friend will shrivel up and die. What not everyone knows is that cow hoof is technically beef…just like how chicken feathers is still technically chicken. Milfco knows this…and they’re ready to capitalize.
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Just added a brand new T-shirt design to our stunning array of shirts. Inspired by the “Bumper sticker Heaven” sketch. This white plower t-shirt features the most famous white plower of all…Ron Jeremy!
The Springfield convention center is welcoming the Ecuadorian national cockfighting squad for a series of exhibition matches against all comers. Do you have a prize cock who can stay up for 3 one minute rounds of pounding from a pro? Well, bring that thing out to the Springfield convention center this weekend for a try at the grand prize!
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You can’t be too careful if you’re out there on the scene…meeting lovely young ladies and getting them good and intoxicated and then taking them home to commit lewd and lascivious acts on them. I mean how do you know if that lovely young 27 year old girl is actually 27. She might be a 14 year old high school sophomore who stole her sister’s ID and pushup bra. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me….my convictions under the Mann act are many…MILFCo is ready to solve this problem for you with the MILFCo age of consent calculator! Give this baby a try and you’re bound to avoid conviction. It’s admissable in most courts of law*
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*not really.
Back when I was growing up the way parents handled a kid who backsassed was with a swift and brutal backhanded. However, nowadays with all the liberal media pumping out endless books and magazine articles about how physical violence is BAD for children a backhand is an unacceptable tool to use. As much as I disagree with that sentiment, there’s nothing you can do about it. If you choose to beat your children, they’ll just cry “abuse” and call child protective services. Do you have any idea what that does to your social life? It puts quite a damper on it…let me tell you. Well Dr. Rick Pajama has the solution for all you frustrated parents. No more physical violence is needed to get your kids back in line. Dr. Pajama will give you the tools you need to reason with your children and solve conflicts.
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I find that electric shocks are the only good way to teach children.
I’ll admit I’m pop culture deficient. I just don’t get all this JayZ this and P-didy that. It’s confusing! Give me some REAL pop culture references like “Cheers” or “All in the family” or ANYTHING. I’m sick of my friends dropping Southpark lines and being in the dark. Looks like it’s time for me to visit Jim…
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